All posts tagged: advice

Feeling stuck? How to get started in loving yourself

Declaring love for someone is probably one of the most courageous things to do. It encompasses not only the present but also the future – you love them now but you’re inevitably telling them you’ll love them in the next minute as well. It seems like we go through a cycle of saying we are ‘in love’ with multiple people. We declare love for someone who we might have dated for a couple of months (or days). We even declare love after a couple of good dates. But as humans, we make mistakes. We realize that as time ticks, people grow. And as seasons change, we understand that some of those “loves” are mere ‘loving experiences.’ But then, why do we go back to the people who’ve hurt us the most? Is it because the euphoria that comes with such connections clouds the reasons why we broke up in the first place? Or is it because when we are in a time of vulnerability, we turn to those who we have been vulnerable to? When we’re in a …

Are long distance relationships worth it?

676 miles between us. This equals 13 hours of driving (or 8.7 days of walking!) I’m in Philadelphia and my boyfriend currently resides in Charleston. But this has not always been the case. Today marks 8 months of us being apart (physically). Unless you start off on a dating site and find your significant other in a far away city or even country, going from being together 24/7 to once a month is a major transition that involves a lot of work, money, time on both parties. One question I get a lot is, “Is it even worth it?” Not going to lie, at first I was pretty pessimistic. I mean, you’re reading about a girl who literally required a good night cuddle to fall asleep every night. In addition to my needy self, I admit that I was jealous that I wasn’t the one moving – the one getting a fresh start in a new city. He was. He got a big promotion in his amazing company and a new field that he loved. …

My transformation story – How I struggled with my body image

What’s wrong with me? Why am I not like her? Why am I like this? These were my daily thoughts as I would mindlessly scroll through social media. Believe it or not, research has it that we complain about 15 to 30 times a day or every 32 minutes that we’re awake. If that doesn’t make your mind spin a bit, it was estimated that 80% of our daily thoughts were negative and that such thoughts had toxic effects on our body. And this day and age, social media has propelled to this to be exponentially worse. So many times I’ve failed to see what I had right in front of me because I was so busy wishing, ‘what if.’ And a huge chunk of those times it was about my body image. Each morning, I woke up dreading how I would look in the mirror and every night I would sleeplessly think about how I looked to others. This post details the real, raw no-Photoshop truth of my story and how I got to be …

Saying ‘no’ to self-hate

I am saying ‘no’ because you have ruined my relationships and have halted my progress in the current one. I am saying ‘no’ because too many times I have cried on the floor holding my chest, thinking that my heart would shatter if I didn’t. I am saying ‘no’ because there is more to life than you.  I am saying ‘no’ to self-hate. My name is Carol. I am not a fitness guru or a social media influencer. I am your average Joe who has believed for most of her life that being skinny, rich and insta-famous were the ways to happiness – so that is exactly what I always strived to be. Until yesterday.  I was done. Fed up. Sick of the way my recent vacation ended. I could not look at my boyfriend’s face and tell him that I wanted to be there with him because the only thing I was focused on was how bad I felt about myself. All I wanted to do was to hole up and pity myself. I indeed indulged …